Hi! I’m Annagail.
I thought I would share my testimony with you. Although there are many testimonies within my testimony.
My birth in itself is a miracle. My mother suffered from toxemia during her pregnancy. The doctor didn’t diagnosis it as such until the delivery. On the table, she went into seizures. She didn’t have an OB/GYN. She had a MD who didn’t know how to handle such complications.
My story is pretty much like everyone else’s. I grew up in a middle-class house with one parent working. I have no siblings. My mother didn’t want any more children after the traumatic experience of my birth.
My mother made today’s helicopter parents look tame in comparison. She micro-managed my every move. She knew where I was at all times. She decided what I did, what I played, what I watched on television and who I hung around with, even into my late teens.
She striped me of my voice, my worth and my identity. She made me believe that without her, I would be nothing, that I could not survive on my own.
She did this so often and so long that I stopped talking.
I developed an anxiety disorder. One so severe that I couldn’t go into a store or restaurant for fear that something might set off a panic attack. I couldn’t talk to people in person or on the phone.
By this time, though, she started to act out. She had always been depressed, but now she did crazy things like call her boyfriend’s boss and tell them nasty things about him to get him fired, putting dead birds on people’s doorsteps, taking revenge on me and everyone she thought to be a threat.
This is when the roles reversed, and I started to be the parent—making sure she took her medication, that she didn’t do anything outrageous, that she didn’t make good on her threats to kill herself.
I came to Christ at church camp when I was nine, but it was in this period that I started to learn who Christ is to me, what His Sacrifice on the Cross menat to me personally.
I prayed more than I have ever prayed. I meditated on the Word. I sat still and heard what He had to say to me through His Word, in my spirit and through the preachers I would listen to on the television.
Slowly but surely, I started to attend community college classes. I spoke in class, and was able to talk to more and more people, but I still didn’t feel comfortable doing it.
I knew that God called me to greater things, wanted bigger things for my life, but I couldn’t see how that could occur.
My back was against the wall, taking care of a mother who didn’t want to work, who lived in a paid-for house with no electricity and running water in the middle of a Phoenix, Arizona, summer despite the protests and intervention of everyone around her.
She always said she wanted to die, to get out of this life, and one night, I went to check on her, and she was gone. Died in her sleep.
That night, as if by Divine Will, my anxiety and panic attacks left.
I still worry from time to time, but it is nothing like the old days.
I went back to school and became a pharmacy technician while pursuing my goal of being a life direction coach.
I work for a retail pharmacy where I am dubbed the “Queen of Customer Service” because I am friendly with the customers. I call them by name, chat with them, ask about their families and cater to their likes and dislikes. My customers have gone as far as to write our corporation glowing letters about me.
God did a work in my life, taking me from anxiety-ridden with a panic disorder, to a person who has found her voice and shares it with the world through her God-inspired books and podcasts.
To God be the glory for the great things He has done!